Road Hacks #2: A Pee Bottle


Yes, a pee bottle.  A bottle in which you can pee.  A pee bottle could in fact save your life.  Seriously.  With an increasingly limited number of public places where people can do anything (relax, explore, browse, shop, eat, etc), there is an ever more limited number of public bathrooms to “go number one”.  That means that everybody is forced to use the few public bathrooms still available.  Using those bathrooms is basically Russian roulette for COVID-19.  On road trips, going to the bathroom also necessarily means getting out of your vehicle in unfamiliar surroundings.  Even if you have a tour bus or RV or camper, a pee bottle can save you from having to fill up your holding tank unnecessarily.  A pee bottle also prevents possible accusations, whether male or female, that you disturbed the peace by exposing yourself in public.  And more and more people are going to drive-in movies, because walk-in movie theaters are still closed.  Using a pee bottle means not having to get out of the car and miss some of the movie.  Whether male or female, here’s how to appropriate yourself a good pee bottle.

Finding A Pee Bottle

The best pee bottle is a disposable plastic bottle, with a capacity large enough to take at least one long number one, with a cap that can be sealed when you’re done.  Don’t waste your time on “real” pee bottles for sale at drug stores like Walgreens, CVS, or Rite-Aid.  There’s just no real need to spend money on a medical-grade bottle to pee in.  “Real” pee bottles have one legitimate benefit, though, which is that they are designed with a handle for hanging upright on the side of a wheelchair or hospital bed.

The best pee bottle, from experience and various camping websites, is a 24-ounce or 32-ounce sports drink bottle, like Powerade or Gatorade.  The capacity is right for taking a good number one.  The opening at the top of the bottle is big enough to, um, get the user’s tip inside without spilling or slipping out.  The base is also wide enough for the bottle to sit upright without falling over.  And the plastic lid twists on tight enough that it won’t pop open by mistake.  Since those bottles only cost about a dollar to acquire new (with the drink), then it’s also possible to have more than one empty bottle for when it can’t be immediately emptied.

Female Urination Devices

Female urination devices (not bottles) are apparently common, although female pee bottles exist.  Female urination devices are usually just funnels that go over the lady parts.  The gender-neutral pee bottle is still necessary.  Some female urination devices are intended to be reused and some are disposable.  The most common female urination device is (based on my very brief research) the flexible silicone GoGirl, which is discrete, flexible, and TSA-approved.

Emptying The Bottle(s)

One person usually only needs one bottle that can hold one pee because the bottle can be emptied after each use.  For somebody in a car, it’s as simple as driving up to any patch of grass, rolling down the window, and emptying the bottle.  Sometimes it isn’t that easy, though.  As I said, a disposable bottle is cheap enough that it’s possible to have more than one empty bottle to use for when it can’t be emptied after each use.  Emptying the bottle, or bottles, really is just a matter of finding a patch of grass/dirt/sand/gravel, pouring it all out, and then moving on to more interesting things.

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